


Flew straight into the sun, yet for some godforsaken reason I'm still here

by Tutter_the_mouse



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Orion Black's A+ Parenting, Regulus is ready for death but that's not gonna happen sorry buddy, Time Travel, Typical abuse in the black household, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, but not really, i'll add more characters as they show up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tutter_the_mouse/pseuds/Tutter_the_mouse
Summary: Typical, absolutely typical. He tries to do a good thing and the universe just body slams him into an even worse situation. It's been that way for forever. Honestly, why couldn't fate just give him this one (1) thing and let him die like he was supposed to.Or, Regulus gets vibe checked and once again has to deal with the mortifying ordeal of existing... and defeating the dark lord, all while being a melodramatic teenager.
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, I am not a writer so be warned. Pls let me know what you think tho :)

To say he was stressed would be an understatement. He’s been stressed his whole life, he knows what stress is, you have to when growing up in the  _ wonderful _ most  _ noble _ house of Black. This though? There is not even a word that can begin to describe THIS, stressful doesn't even come close.

He died he fucking died, the whole point of death is that you get to be free of mundane things like stress and  _ feelings,  _ and YET. Somehow, despite his efforts he’s somehow NOT dead and as if that fact isn't stressful enough, he has no idea why or how he is alive! And oh yeah  **he's in the body of his fifteen year old self** . 

Typical, absolutely typical. He tries to do a good thing and the universe just body slams him into an even worse situation. It's been that way forever. He tries to talk to his brother? Sirius gets mad or his stupid little marauders get in his face and Regulus walks away hexed (he casts a few himself but thats not his fault!). Even before he got sorted into Slytherin Sirius hated him!

He covers Sirius’s ass when he runs away? His parents expect perfection from him and to “make up for the shame Sirius caused this family.”

He does exactly what his parents want from him? He gets forced into a literal cult. 

He helps Andromeda when her stupid muggle husband gets hurt? Andromeda kicks him out and yells at him the second she doesn't need him anymore,  **plus** Sirius finds out and says if any death eaters show up at her house it's his fault and  _ hexes  _ him,  **_plus_ ** his parents interrogate him about his whereabouts for hours and when he doesn't admit to anything scandalous they hit him.

He isolates himself from friends that don't agree with Voldemort or would be on the receiving end of their hate? He’s a bigot! Even though he’s protecting them, plus he loses his friends, yay!!!

He quits quidditch to research horcruxes his final year? The universe refuses to cut him some slack and he gets screamed at by his dear mother and lectured by good ole dad about being a disappointment and then he has to do more stuff for the death eaters since he “has so much free time now that he's quit quidditch.” Of course! What did he expect!

Death was literally the only thing the universe could’ve given him at this point to make amends, but no. Of course not! Instead he was dealing with this mess.

But hey, it could be worse. He could’ve survived in his 18 year old body and been forced to deal with that, at least 15 year old Regulus now knows what will be going down in the next 3 years… no actually this is worse. Partially because he has no idea how he managed to time travel which makes things much more confusing and  _ stressful  _ but also because he's back at Hogwarts again and has to play pretend without arousing suspicion. 

Merlin, he wishes fate could’ve just let him die an unknown hero, but alas here he is, in 4th year potions surrounded by people he hasn’t talked to in years… or are dead. 

How wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think in 4th year you're supposed to be 15, not really sure but that's what's happening in this fic.


	2. Chapter 2

Potions is about as terrible as he remembered it, but the second time around has the added pleasure of extreme awkwardness because he hasn’t talked to Zabini in quite a while given his family’s neutrality and... extenuating circumstances. 

Regulus is pretty damn sure that the Zabini’s were divided between wanting to stay neutral and being against Voldemort but in about two years or so some idiotic light wizards are going to attack the Zabini’s. The whole family is going to become completely neutral afterwards and a few members are actually going to start funding the dark lord out of spite.   
Also Blaise died from said attack... he also... possibly cried about that fact… possibly. Which possibly makes this the most awkward experience in his life. Or... not-life? 

Regulus is once again reminded of the overwhelming uncertainty in his very existence at the moment, and it's frustrating. He wants to take a nap. The mental gymnastics he’s been doing the past 30 minutes in his not-life to appear normal are objectively impressive, but shoving everything behind his mental walls via occlumency and putting on a mask is very tiring. He’s probably going to pass out at this rate. 

“Regulus? You okay mate?” Wow he hasn’t heard Blaise’s voice in such a long time and definitely not with such a caring tone. No, NO he was not going to cry right now. Stop that.

“Yeah, I just-I just have a splitting headache” Not a lie his head was killing him, it was just accompanied with the pain lacing the rest of his body… and the circumstances leading up to this pain were also mindmending. 

“You want to go to the nurse?” That sounds like an excellent idea at least then he’ll be able to collect his thoughts and get a few potions in him. 

“Yes, that sounds very nice… I’m going to go now” Nice job idiot. Perfectly in character for the person that has never voluntarily gone to the nurse in his life, let alone admitted he didn't feel well, to jump at the chance to go to the nurse.

Zabini is frowning, he's definitely suspicious, of course he is! The universe really is not letting him have anything today. Or ever, but that's besides the point. “Okay… I’ll tell Professor Slughorn that you’re going to see Pomfrey.”

“Thanks” Regulus squeaked before speed walking his way to Pomfrey’s to beg for a calming draught and some rest. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. His head HURTS and now everyone in his potions class is suspicious along with everyone he's passing in the hall. Thank Merlin for the way Hogwarts has been seared into his memory allowing him to navigate his way to Pomfrey’s despite the pain. At least he’s actually made it to her office without collapsing, that would be a disaster, one he definitely could not handle considering his parents would undoubtedly be called.

Oh no. His parents. How on earth is he supposed to deal with them for another 3 years? He couldn’t go through all that again, he really cou- _The mark_

He can hardly get his hands to stop shaking in order to roll his left sleeve up and... It's not there. The mark is gone. Of course it is, he's fifteen. His parents made him get it at sixteen because that’s the age Narcissa had to take the mark because that’s when Andromeda left.

He cant stop laughing, or crying. His head is in his hands and he can hardly breathe because it's gone. The mark is gone. He can't breathe but that's fine because that bloody mark is gone. He's crying and laughing but no sound is coming out and he doesn’t know what to do with all the emotions in his head right now but it doesn't matter because the dark mark is gone. The mark is gone.

He’s free. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone seems to recycle names... so Blaise Zabini! He is not the canon Blaise's father, basically in this canon Blaise's parents named him after Regulus's Blaise bc he died... and no one is capable of coming up with original names in canon so here we are lol.


End file.
